IN TRANSITION:#7: New Year New Life. (2010 Recap.)
That’s it for 2010. The year is pretty much over.
Bye 2010 you taught me so much.
2010 started out with me unemployed. It’s crazy to think I was broke, and jobless 3/4 of the year. I didn’t start working til September. I remember the ups and downs so much. The inner turmoil, self loathing, the uncertainty, embarrassment and impatience for progress. And then, one day just changed it all for me.
I never really thought that I could do so much for myself and for others in such little time and I think that was my problem. My perspective was all messed up and I’ve never really been the type to give myself much credit. Call it being too humble or a self esteem problem, that’s the truth. The other truth that only few of you know is that I’ve been pretty sheltered all my life in an environment that has created in me an anxious person. Letting myself be contained in the cage of anxiety for too long as opposed to really stepping out into the world, 2009, the year I graduated, was the year that I decided I wanted to try to move on and get passed my fears. But nothing happened. I wasn’t working. I interpret the majority of the year as God saying “Nope, I ain’t going to make it that easy for you.I’m going to make you want to free yourself at all costs.”
By my cage, I’m not saying my home. I’ve kept myself locked away in just about every sense of the word because I’m always overthinking. I can be very anxious and uncertain about what the best course of action is. There’s this overwhelming fear of failure that has controlled my life…….for way too long…and I’ve enabled that to happen.
My parents, God bless them, in their attempts to help me have also instilled this feeling of being overly cautious that I must get rid of in order to live the life I know now that I’m truly meant to live. This year I’ve been able to think about my life, sort it out and start to change it.
The fact that I’ve made some pretty big progress has made me realize that I can be in control of my life and that I can rely on my ideas and the way I want to go about things. I learned ,once and for all, that responsibility is a great thing and I’m jumping in to do more for myself. This past month, I think I’ve finally learned to be more focused and I’ve narrowed down all of my interests and desires to four basic things. I’ve been trying to figure that out my entire life and I finally got it.
My life has purpose now. I don’t think I’m lost anymore. I’m not all over the place anymore. This is the gift of 2010.
I’m 25 years old. I haven’t done things that many of my friends are already doing. In many ways I’m so behind on growing up. But like I’ve said in previous posts, I’m really good at playing catch up.
To all of my amazing friends and family, Thank you for always seeing in me what I could never see in myself.
For the longest time, I used to wonder why people would react so positively towards me, why I’ve been told that people stop and stare at me, why people are always so willing to help me in life. Now I think I’m starting to understand what it is.
I’m a good person. I am ok. And I guess for those reasons there are so many people in my life rooting for me.
Not only will I break free, I will shine in 2011 and you’re all coming with me.
Happy New Year Everybody. 
I’m a sick chick so I’m staying home…..But I LOVE YA!!
- You can check out my journey in the “In transition” section of my blog. I’ve enjoyed every moment of letting everyone “see me sweat”.
IN TRANSITION: #6: WHOA! I SAVED THIS MUCH ALREADY?!
November – Christmas 2010
So the days went on. I worked, came home, ate, slept, woke up to take my dad to work, sleep again, wake up again, go to work….etc… over and over again. It was starting to feel pretty monotonous.
And then the breaks came and I took the time to just sleep it away to rejuvenate. We had a nice meal for Thanksgiving just me and the family. And work was nice too on the last day before break. We had free pizza and it was like we were all in a good mood…joking…being light and happy. It was nice.
All this went by and the checks were coming in. And we had other nice happy times at work as Christmas break was approaching. Then I took a look at my account. “HOLY CRAP! I HAVE THIS MUCH?!……But I bought some clothes!……and got caught up with my loans………. 
“ I was so happy. I could basically do my Christmas shopping, get a huge much needed gift for my parents AND I’d still bascially be able to get my car. No way…that is pretty cool.
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
So I unfortunately lost track of time and had to shop for everybody the week of Christmas. I hate going to the malls for Christmas shopping ……so I didn’t. I, fortunately, knew of some other alternatives. I managed to do my shopping for everyone in about 4 hours. at 4 different stores. Yes…I am the master quick shopper. I take pride in that. hahaha.
My sister and I right before Christmas eve were able to get a much needed set for my parents. I was so happy and I felt so lucky and yet humbled that I have to opportunity to contribute to my family in such a big way.
And so …that’s been my month. The last one of the year. 2010 is pretty much over.
Next, and for real this time, is the car. I’m so pumped right now.
IN TRANSITION:#5 “NOTHING ELSE MATTERS”
NOVEMBER 2010
The day that I decide to really take control of my financial situation and put that first….before the car, something happens. I don’t really want to get into it but all I want to say is….a series of events that took place after that compelled me to take all the money from my account and all the money I’m getting on payday, save 100 dollars, to contribute, help out.
You know I’ve talked about the car, the computer, giving back to my friends who helped me this past year but all of that doesn’t matter. Getting the car is not the most important thing anymore. What matters more is helping out the people that I really would be nothing without.
I’m going to help my biggest contributors, and that’s all I’ve ever really wanted to do. Nothing else even matters if I can’t even do that. I’m not successful in my mind if I can’t give back to them in a big way.
If with my money I can relieve burdens…….I have reached my dream. I am successful….right now.
As cheesy as it sounds…It will be my heart’ s joy to give my all for them. Nothing else matters….
Being able to do this feels good. I guess I’m a helper.
Til next time…..
IN TRANSITION:#3: OMG, I am spending lots on Jeans…..and other things
October 2010
I’ve been recycling the same old jeans for work every week. I only went to the mall for one maybe two comfortable pairs. But there was this great deal at Pacsun I could not pass up. I ended up getting 4 pairs because so many of their jeans fit so well (2 for work and 2 for parties). I really wanted to buy more but I spent too much. I felt great that I could spend without problems but… It felt odd to spend that much at once. It’s been a while.
My mom who was with me was like “Well, imagine how you’re going to feel when you put money on that car!…hahaha”
Good point Mom.
Well! I’m set for the season…..Kinda….(Everyone does know I’m going back to buy more right?….)
I also bought my laptop which was very necessary. My 8yr old desktop computer was extremely slow. I bought myself an HP laptop in the meantime.
The car is next and I’ve been saving up like crazy for it….
In Transition:#2: Payday
I have been broke for most of the year . My best friend and sister (along with other friends…don’t think I don’t remember you guys) have always brought me along and paid for me or bought me stuff without even thinking about it. They would tell me it was ok because a.) they knew my situation and b.) since they were fine financially and they wanted me around then why not.
It feels great to be able to pay for myself and someone else.It’s nice to know that I’m finally beginning to pay them back for all those times, You have no idea . I don’t sit well with solely taking so it’s been slowly killing me inside for the past year…haha..
IN TRANSITION: PAYDAY
My best friend’s birthday fell on the week of my first paycheck. I didn’t know if I was going to get to go to the bank so thankfully I still had two hundred dollars from my previous job that I was able to use to celebrate with her.
My bestie lives in New York so the plan was to take the bus there, go out with her to a nice restaurant/lounge in her area and stay the night.
She met me at the station and I got to see her new place. The place was nice and comfortable. It’s more of a long apartment but it’s very deep. It has two bedrooms and so her adorable daughter has her own space. We chatted as we got dressed. Then we were out the door.
We took a cab. She was going to pay but I paid the guy first.
We went to the restaurant which served Latin food. It was very nice. It was kind of a long place too. Everything was dark wood with very pretty dim lighting. The bar was to the left, there were sofas to the right and towards the end, also to the right, there was a platform where all of the tables were. It was very pretty. They were playing Juan Luis Guerra so it had a very soothing tropical vibe.
I decided to have a drink for the night so when it came time to order I had a strawberry mojito. I’m not the mojito type but that’s pretty much all they had that I could deal with however……this one was actually pretty good.The appetizers were banging. Ashley had crab cake and I had crab salad. We tried eachother’s food…her’s was better. Her friend Leslie got there a few minutes after and we recommended the crab cake appetizer. We then talked about sex, love, and novelas ; the usual girl talk. haha
And then it was dance time. The mix was very good. They had the right amount of everything. There was a great block of dance music and spanish with some hip hop mixed in.We were dancing a lot and just enjoying the vibe. Another friend who unfortunately was lost most of the night managed to head out there just in time to party for about an hour.
It was a great night.
The following weekend I paid for my sister’s ticket and food at the movies. We went and saw “The Social Network” which was great by the way. The movies are super expensive. During the summer we would go on the free nights ( optimum rewards card…) so I didn’t even notice that you’re going to spend at least $ 50 on the tickets and food for two, and that’s only if you get the 1 popcorn two beverage deal. Nachos and everything else? WELL!
Regardless, It was very satisfying and I’ll be happy to do it more often.
