Posts tagged “personality

How to find yourself Part 1: Managing Negative/Intrusive Thoughts/Emotions/Reactions

*This post will be updated with more links throughout the week. There are just too many to list.*

My crisis started after I left my abusive relationship. By then, I was so broken, and confused emotionally and mentally about myself. I had just enough courage and self esteem to realize my life could only get worse and that his intention was to ruin me, not make me better. So, I got out, graduated college a year and a half later than I was supposed to, and then I couldn’t find work for the next year and a half.

Although I was sad a lot at the time, looking back, it was a good thing that my life was at a standstill for such a long time. I was going through some post-traumatic stress. I didn’t know it then but I was. I was raging inside. Anytime I had a chance to assert myself and my beliefs when it came to men and relationships and values, I would not only assert them, I’d shout them. I’d get very aggressive during my proclamation of new found wisdom. I was very dogmatic about it.I cried a lot and I felt alone.

Then, I started blogging. I didn’t want to think I was the only one feeling all weird. So, it motivated me to not be afraid to express myself no matter how silly, vulnerable or seemingly unimportant. This was my therapy throughout the duration of being IN TRANSITION from a college graduate to a career newcomer.

As I gained more experience in my current job, I didn’t think much about anything. I was focused on what I wanted to get done, what I wanted to pay off, and the things I had to buy ( like my car).

I met my soon to be husband and all was amazing. Somewhere along the way however, I found my mind was confused, and I was feeling anxious. I became an emotional mess. I didn’t understand how it happened or what deep down inside me was motivating it. Dealing with it daily provoked me to get to the bottom of all of my feelings. In the process, I found out a lot more about myself and why I do the things I do.

In this series of posts, I’d like to give some practical suggestions on how to get to the bottom of any  internal struggles that you may be having, according to my experience.

SUGGESTION 1: LEARN HOW TO MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS, THOUGHTS, AND REACTIONS.

The daydreaming and imagination which I had grown accustomed to became my worst enemy when out of nowhere I was filled with nothing but intrusive negative thoughts and scenarios that I just couldn’t get out of my head. It came to points where it seemed out of my control and I was FREAKING OUT about them …to say the least.

I had to learn a few things at once. The first thing was

1.) that this is normal because I’m not the only one. ( not necessarily common….but normal)

2.) how to get better and control my mind better.

Here’s my tip:

Asking whatever is on your mind through a search engine like Google can produce some very helpful results

Since I have done this quite a bit, I’ve basically done a lot of the work for you. Therefore, I am going to give you plenty of websites and articles that will help you. Here

they are: ( List all of them- Links) (Here are the categories)

OCD sites- For the worriers, over thinkers, and the anxious

whether or not you have OCD is irrelevant. They have great suggestions as to how to handle intrusive thoughts, emotions.

http://www.succeedsocially.com/anxietyattitude

http://www.healthandgoodness.com/article/worrying-thoughts-and-anxiety.html

Transitions:

All kinds of emotions according to Sheryl Paul are normal and human to feel.

http://conscious-transitions.com/anxious-youre-one-of-the-lucky-ones/

http://conscious-transitions.com/the-highly-sensitive-person/

http://conscious-transitions.com/the-spider-of-anxiety/

http://conscious-transitions.com/the-timetable-of-transitions/

http://conscious-transitions.com/why-am-i-so-terrified/

http://conscious-transitions.com/a-thought-is-just-a-thought/

http://conscious-transitions.com/anxious-thoughts-create-anxious-feelings/

http://conscious-transitions.com/grieving-as-letting-go/

http://conscious-transitions.com/the-story-of-matthew-part-2-or-the-transition-of-healing/

Transition Psychology:

http://www.eoslifework.co.uk/transprac.htm

More on transitions:

http://www.trans4mind.com/jamesharveystout/midlife.htm

Self- esteem (Everyone must read this article)

http://www.nathanielbranden.com/ess/exc04.html

Self Monitoring/Emotional,thought management:

Although it’sgeared more towards Bipolar Disorder,the link below teaches skills we can all learn to help become more self aware, in control and in the moment.

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/docs/KYB-3-Self%20Monitoring.pdf

Happiness:

http://top7business.com/?Top-7-Steps-To-Being-Truly-Happy&id=277

Also, check out psychology today they have very helpful articles:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/i-can-relate/201203/good-enough-beats-perfect

Another site is Mood Juice. Take a look. If you want, print these worksheets out and work on them.

Book mark or print out the sites that you feel you’ll need to go to again and again.


Finding Motivation

I decided I would put some links that helped find my motivation. See, one day I was just starting to doubt my ambitions. I wasn’t getting excited about anything anymore and I wanted to find ways to fight against it. I’ve always had this problem. I get really excited about something, try to find the answers to questions I have about it, and once I find it or I know a pretty decent amount about it, I start to lose interest.

No longer tolerating this loss of excitement, energy or enthusiasm, I googled about it. My objective was to find perhaps some kind of mantra to tell myself whenever I felt …bland. I found some but I also found some articles and personality tests which were fun.

Here’s what I found.

Start with this one. It’s straightforward.

http://sidsavara.com/personal-development/how-to-actively-take-control-of-your-time-and-your-life

The inspirational quotes:

http://sidsavara.com/start-pages/be-present-in-the-moment

Another set of Inspirational quotes:

http://sidsavara.com/start-pages/destroy-procrastination-with-action

This article has a set of personality tests just in case, like me, you’re struggling with finding your TRUE passion.

http://sidsavara.com/personal-development/free-online-personality-type-tests-and-psychology-tests

Here are the tests I took ( there are more test on the last link above)

http://www.thetimeparadox.com/surveys/ztpi/

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

I like the “how to actively take control of your time and your life” page  a lot because it lays the strategies out for you.  The tactic I especially liked was the “Stop doing your “default” activity.”  default activities are those things you do  automatically whenever you’re bored which is for everyone it’s usually TV or computer.

If you pair that up with a to do list or a brainstorm list of things you want to do some days, then instead of  going to straight to tv or computer, you pick which of those activities on your list you could do at that moment.

In the personality test on Humanmetrics.com They labeled me as a Champion personality. I will save the space and write more about me at the very end. The profiles were right on so they should be for you as well.

I found all these links to be the most helpful. Also, since sid savara’s also into psychology and personality tests I found it more fun.

Try them out. They are all short and sweet.

*** OK AND NOW MY RESULTS AND THE THINGS I FOUND HELPFUL.***

My personality profile found after the humanmetrics test at Keirsey.com Bolded are the stuff I’d label under  “I strongly agree.”

Like the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say two or three percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can’t wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.

Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what’s possible.

Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and full of energy with their friends. They are likable and at ease with colleagues, and handle their employees or students with great skill. They are good in public and on the telephone, and are so spontaneous and dramatic that others love to be in their company. Champions are positive, exuberant people, and often their confidence in the goodness of life and of human nature makes good things happen.

Joan Baez, Phil Donahue, Paul Robeson, Bill Moyer, Elizibeth Cady Stanton, Joeseph Campbell, Edith Wharton, Sargent Shriver, Charles Dickens, and Upton Sinclair are examples of Idealist Champions

* Reminders: Quotes from one of the links….

“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”
Earl Nightingale

“Stress is caused by being in the now but wanting to be in the future, reducing the present to a means to an end.”
– The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

:-)


Career recommendations

In accordance with my anxiety about my direction in life, I decided to google “common careers” and in the suggestion box “common careers for personality types” comes up. So I clicked on it.I found this link that’s pretty cool.

If you want to try go here first

Take the free temperament test. It’s pretty accurate.

Here’s the career for personality type link I found.

http://www.personalitypage.com/careers.html

Here’s what they have to say about my personality type with is

The Idealist.

INFPs generally have the following traits:

  • Strong value systems
  • Warmly interested in people
  • Service-oriented, usually putting the needs of others above their own
  • Loyal and devoted to people and causes
  • Future-oriented
  • Growth-oriented; always want to be growing in a positive direction
  • Creative and inspirational
  • Flexible and laid-back, unless a ruling principle is violated
  • Sensitive and complex
  • Dislike dealing with details and routine work
  • Original and individualistic – “out of the mainstream”
  • Excellent written communication skills
  • Prefer to work alone, and may have problems working on teams
  • Value deep and authentic relationships
  • Want to be seen and appreciated for who they are

The INFP is a special, sensitive individual who needs a career which is more than a job. The INFP needs to feel that everything they do in their lives is in accordance with their strongly-felt value systems, and is moving them and/or others in a positive, growth-oriented direction. They are driven to do something meaningful and purposeful with their lives. The INFP will be happiest in careers which allow them to live their daily lives in accordance with their values, and which work towards the greater good of humanity. It’s worth mentioning that nearly all of the truly great writers in the world have been INFPs.

Possible Career Paths for the INFP:

  • Writers
  • Counselors / Social Workers
  • Teachers / Professors
  • Psychologists
  • Psychiatrists
  • Musicians
  • Clergy / Religious Workers

I started out as a journalism major and I was actually considering psychology before I decided to do Media. I took quite a few classes in psych. I’m thinking of becoming a professor in the long run.

The one thing I haven’t given a good shot (besides clergy. I’m not really into institutions like that even though I do consider myself a catholic.) is Musician. Hmmm…..perhaps? lol



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