IN TRANSITION:#8: It’s up to you.
Dec. 27 2010 – January 2011
I just realized that I can buy a car right now. This is so exciting. So I’m going to be doing some more research about everything I need.
However….I also just narrowed down my options and I just saw that a particular deal I want is almost over. OMG!!!
So Naturally, My anxious self decides to call my sister for some help.
To make a long convo short, the gist of it was to ask:
“…so sister I have the money and I COULD get it like Now if I wanted to but….I don’t know ……I mean the deal’s great…..and I can do it….do I just jump in?….”
Sister’s response: It’s up to you.
Ugh…..Yes I know I must rely on myself more…
K…
Well….
in that case….
Looks like I’m jumping in. ….
I’ll keep you posted. 
Whenever I think…..
2011 TIME!
Well I’ll be posting a lot more on here this year. A lot of things are going to go on that I’m sure I’ll want to talk about. There’s always the new music that will be in my head, The many ways I’ll be changing my life, some more things I’ll fall in love with, and I’m sure there’s going to be more nasty/crude stories and situations to write about (yes, I have finally decided that I will indeed blog about ALL of the Poop Talk I may experience this year).
So…the goal is to post whenever I think of something. To do it instantly, pretty much like the way I do on my tumblr.
We’ll see what happens. I hope all my friends had a good time partying.
IN TRANSITION:#7: New Year New Life. (2010 Recap.)
That’s it for 2010. The year is pretty much over.
Bye 2010 you taught me so much.
2010 started out with me unemployed. It’s crazy to think I was broke, and jobless 3/4 of the year. I didn’t start working til September. I remember the ups and downs so much. The inner turmoil, self loathing, the uncertainty, embarrassment and impatience for progress. And then, one day just changed it all for me.
I never really thought that I could do so much for myself and for others in such little time and I think that was my problem. My perspective was all messed up and I’ve never really been the type to give myself much credit. Call it being too humble or a self esteem problem, that’s the truth. The other truth that only few of you know is that I’ve been pretty sheltered all my life in an environment that has created in me an anxious person. Letting myself be contained in the cage of anxiety for too long as opposed to really stepping out into the world, 2009, the year I graduated, was the year that I decided I wanted to try to move on and get passed my fears. But nothing happened. I wasn’t working. I interpret the majority of the year as God saying “Nope, I ain’t going to make it that easy for you.I’m going to make you want to free yourself at all costs.”
By my cage, I’m not saying my home. I’ve kept myself locked away in just about every sense of the word because I’m always overthinking. I can be very anxious and uncertain about what the best course of action is. There’s this overwhelming fear of failure that has controlled my life…….for way too long…and I’ve enabled that to happen.
My parents, God bless them, in their attempts to help me have also instilled this feeling of being overly cautious that I must get rid of in order to live the life I know now that I’m truly meant to live. This year I’ve been able to think about my life, sort it out and start to change it.
The fact that I’ve made some pretty big progress has made me realize that I can be in control of my life and that I can rely on my ideas and the way I want to go about things. I learned ,once and for all, that responsibility is a great thing and I’m jumping in to do more for myself. This past month, I think I’ve finally learned to be more focused and I’ve narrowed down all of my interests and desires to four basic things. I’ve been trying to figure that out my entire life and I finally got it.
My life has purpose now. I don’t think I’m lost anymore. I’m not all over the place anymore. This is the gift of 2010.
I’m 25 years old. I haven’t done things that many of my friends are already doing. In many ways I’m so behind on growing up. But like I’ve said in previous posts, I’m really good at playing catch up.
To all of my amazing friends and family, Thank you for always seeing in me what I could never see in myself.
For the longest time, I used to wonder why people would react so positively towards me, why I’ve been told that people stop and stare at me, why people are always so willing to help me in life. Now I think I’m starting to understand what it is.
I’m a good person. I am ok. And I guess for those reasons there are so many people in my life rooting for me.
Not only will I break free, I will shine in 2011 and you’re all coming with me.
Happy New Year Everybody. I’m a sick chick so I’m staying home…..But I LOVE YA!!
- You can check out my journey in the “In transition” section of my blog. I’ve enjoyed every moment of letting everyone “see me sweat”.
IN TRANSITION: The Routine
My work hours remind me of school which is great because that means I have all day to do whatever I want….right?
Not really. And here’s why. I’m out of work before 4pm. Great. With the traffic I don’t get home sometimes til almost 5pm. Still have time? eh…
By the time I’m done with Dinner, it’s about 6pm. That leaves me with about 1 to 2 hours to do anything else because at 7pm/8pm I have to go to sleep. This is really more of a nap. Why? because by 1130 I’m up taking my dad to work. He works night shift and I’ll be at work before he even gets out so we arrange things accordingly. My family shares a car. The goal of work for me is to get my own car…..now u know why…haha
Anyways, by the time I get back, It’s about 12am. I go to sleep again. See what I’ve done here? I split my sleep in half every night (well 5 of 7 nights).
My alarm wakes me up at 5:15am. I’m in the shower by 5:30am and well….you know the rest….
Some nights I’ll try to sleep at 10pm instead just to give me some time to relax but I end up paying for it the next day.
This particular week, I’m really paying for it. I didn’t sleep until 12am yesterday and I’m drifting as I type this but….I have no choice but to stay up. With the noise going on right now around me and visitors about in the house….and my bed in the middle of it all, the universe is obviously telling me I should be typing this instead ……right?
I’m giving you a sense of my environment….Just to give you an understanding of what I’m dealing with…
Did I mention I sleep with earplugs? haha…..
UPDATE: IN TRANSITION: It’s going to happen quickly
I FINALLY HAVE A JOB!!!
It feels great. I’ve been working there for a month now and I thought I’d share a few things. This is the beginning of a series of In Transition posts where I talk about how I’ve been dealing with this opportunity to get my life in order.
IN TRANSITION: It’s going to happen quickly
Have your phone on you
As I was running around getting ready for the gym with my parents, which was the routine every morning, my phone rang.
I ran to get it. It was the agency. I had been with them for quite a few months and there were very little opportunities for me so I got excited right away. “Oh shit they have a job for me.” I thought. They told me it was Data Entry work and it was located near my home so I said “Yes, I’m interested.” They said “Ok, so are you available for an interview at 2:30pm?”
I said “Yes.”
” Ok I will let them know and I will send you the address.”
“Ok, Thank you so much!”
“You’re welcome. Bye.”
” Oh my God, I have an interview to go to at 2:30pm” I say as I turn toward my parents who were listening in behind me.
” Oh That’s Great Isa!!” says my mom “Do you think you’ll have time to go to the gym? Maybe you shouldn’t go and just get ready.”
“No No…” I said ” There’s NO WAY I’m NOT going to work out. I need to get the nerves out of my system. This will help me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah yeah, It’s at 2:30. We get out of the gym at 1 and it’s right here. I’ll be fine.”
“Alright.”
So we go. In my head we have plenty of time. It’s about 11:ooam. We should get there and start working out at about 11:30. Then we will get out at 1pm.
We head out the door. I forgot my phone so I go back to get it. I never do that since I’m not really a phone person. If I forget it, I forget it and I don’t give it a second thought. Going back to get it was the best decision I’ve made recently. Why? Because I would’ve missed out on some very important information.
As my parents and I were taking our usual route….there was a HUGE TRAFFIC JAM! From the house to the gym is about 15 minutes…not even. We ended up being on the highway for about 30 minutes….haven’t moved an inch. We weren’t moving and there were no exits to get to so we were stuck. I start freaking out. I’m like Hyperventilating…
My mom’s like ” OH GOD COULD YOU JUST CALM DOWN! UGH! I HATE WHEN YOU GET LIKE THAT! …..make me nervous….I told you you should’ve stayed home. Next time you should stay home.”
My dad also being greatly affected by my emotions…( I have that effect on people) is like “Ugh….OK OK….we’re just going to get off….We’re not going to the gym today.”
Right there I get a phone call. Its the agency again.
” I’m so sorry Isabell….but this lady I’m talking to doesn’t give me all of the details… It’s a phone interview.”
“oh…(super relieved) ok.”
“I really do apologize that I gave you the wrong information but hey, it’s better for you. You can be more comfortable.”
“yeah it is better. Thank you for giving me a call and letting me know.”
“You’re welcome. So have your phone on you. They should be giving you a call”
Since I didn’t have to change into “interview clothes” we went to the gym stress free.
….obviously all went well.
The Job
I work in an office behind a warehouse so it’s a relaxed vibe. There’s no dress code so I don’t have to be all proper. In fact, it gets pretty cold in there so I’m usually bundled up or with a sweatshirt, jacket, jeans and safety shoes. I have to work with truck drivers and I just get their paperwork and tell them where to go. I put whatever deliveries are being made to the warehouse in the system and that’s pretty much the gist of it. There is a lot more to it than that but…I just wanted to give you a sense of the environment.
Me, with my safety glasses and vest. I don't always wear a collared shirt.
This is the usual look I sport....
The first day I met my supervisors and I basically spent the day making sure that all the documents pertaining to me were done. I had to watch a video on safety and read a few things. I was told that I was going to learn how to take over both the shipping and receiving offices. I would first start with receiving and once I got the hang of it, I would learn the other and then do both. I met people and I received my ID that opens the doors so If I ever forget it I’m screwed…haha
The first week I was taught how to do as many procedures as I possibly could…..which is a lot for me. I grasp things pretty quickly. I had to learn how to read the bills ( each company has a different format and there’s a lot of companies) I had to learn the systems ( there’s two different systems I use everyday) I had to learn how to do certain paperwork and when to do so. I had to learn the difference between different kinds of products that would be delivered and which system to put it in. I had to learn how to assign numbers to certain deliveries. ….Yeah…It’s quite a lot. By the end of the week, I was able to do basic front desk operations with minimal problems…. I was really proud of myself.
Even with all I learned there’s still so much more to it because new situations arise pretty much everyday. So needless to say I’m still learning but I’m doing well for only being there for a few weeks.
I’ve only been there for a month and I’m already being trained to work the other office. They have realized however that there’s way too much to master. It took the people I work with years to really master every single aspect. Because of that I will mainly be in one office but with the know how to do both, just in case my coworkers on the other side need help. It can get pretty hectic.
I wish I could say more but I can’t get into specifics. But that’s the job I’m working. It’s doesn’t seem to be the average office job. It involves juggling. The people are cool though.
They have been so nice since the beginning. Everyone in the whole building/company are really nice. They ask me if I’m getting the hang of work, we talk and chat about ourselves when we get a chance, a lot of them are comedians and ball busters. It’s pretty cool. And I do have to say being able to wear jeans and a tee shirt is a plus. It reminds me of when I was working as a Production assistant. As long as you look like you showered it’s ok. haha Oh, and the hours are great.
I remember thinking how happy I was to be working in a place like that. And I was already making plans with the money I would get.
First in a week, get the computer.
Second save up the rest until about a month from now… and then get the car. I had calculated that I could get a lease and be able to get a car by Halloween.
By November any money after my expenses would go towards my student loans.
“Yup, I’m feeling really good about this.” I thought
“I’m finally going to get my life together and it’s all going to happen really quickly.”
Update: IN A WEEK…
I’M OFFICIALLY GETTING A NEW COMPUTER!! Yay!!
I should have it by next week. The beginning of next week. Then it will be so much easier to put things up here.
I haven’t been on here for almost a month and there have been many things I’ve wanted to share but my computer is super slow. It’s gotten to the point where I won’t go on for days sometimes because I’d rather not deal with the hassle. My computer is about 8 yrs old. It’s a desktop and I’m just glad it’s still even running.
So the day you see a crazy amount of posts on here….will be the day I receive it…haha
Then IT’S ON!
Update: ALL DAY FUN! 8/28 PT.2 “QUEST CREW IS IN THE BUILDING!!”
I think I should explain why meeting them was such a big deal for me. I’ve been wanting to see them perform and/ or meet them since Ryan was on “So You Think You Can Dance.” For those of you who are into them you know that’s been quite a long time. That same summer he was on the show, he and the crew were going to do a show in New York. I was planning to go but it didn’t work out and I haven’t had a chance to go to their shows ever since.
We meet up with my best friend Ashley who’s already in line. Eventually we get in and immediately go over to the bar to get drinks.
I’m like “Should I get a drink so I won’t be tense?”
My sister’s like “Yeah just get something light. I’m getting a malibu bay breeze. That’s light. There’s like no alcohol. haha”
“Ok. Get me one of those then”
So we get our drinks and go into the room where they will be performing. People are dancing in front of the stage. Some are dancing on the stage. So we’re sitting in the back of the place just chillin with our drinks. Then, I decided we should at least kinda dance a little bit.
” I kind of want to feel like we’re out. Let’s dance alittle.”
So we go and just do a two step on the floor. I think for a brief moment I had forgotten this was an 18 to party, 21 to drink event. We’re 25 plus so it was kind of awkward when these baby faced 19 yr olds came to hit on us.
We politely said no and then proceeded to go sit back down. Then the DJ announces “QUEST CREW IS IN THE BUILDING! IF YOU WANT TO MEET THEM THEY’LL BE AT THE BAR. LET’S ALL MAKE OUR WAY TO THE BAR.”
So we go along with some other people. Everyone was a bit confused. “Oh that’s odd. I thought the meet and greet was after the show.” I said.
So we’re waiting for a few minutes like everyone else. My sister has the bright idea to go downstairs to the other bar. As we make our way down we see Hok chillin at one of the tables.
“This was the bar they were talking about.” says my sister. So she’s kind of pushing me towards him because I’m hesitating and she’s all like ” Just ask him ‘Hey Hok, is it ok if I take a picture with you?’ He’s either going to say ‘No’ or ‘Yes’ “
I say, “Oh I know. It’s just that I don’t want to interrupt….you know.”
My sister – “Just go.” At this point there wasn’t much further to go. haha. He saw I was there. So I was like ” Hey Hok, can I take a picture with you?” and he smiled and he was like “Ok.”
I thought I was smiling..haha.. He has a nice smile doesn't he?
As the picture is being taken my sister’s like ” We’ve been a fan of you since So You Think You Can Dance.”
And he’s like ” Well, Thank You!”
My sister – ” Is it ok if I take a picture?”
Hok – “Oh, …Well I kind of have to go…(points up the stairs)”
Sis – ” Oh Yeah I understand.”
He smiles and leaves.
We go back upstairs and into the performance room. About an hour later they go on stage and dance.
I don’t care how many times you’ve seen them on Youtube or wherever, you should go see them live. If you’re going to record, press the button and see them with your eyes, not the screen.Their moves and tricks look so much more intense in person. They look crazier and even more dangerous. For some reason video can’t really capture it. Ryan doing his flips and landing on his back. You can hear it. It’s like “OUCH!” Steve does some crazy fast transitions. It’s all pretty crazy. I Loved it!
So they finish and we decide to walk to the bar right outside of the room. Right at the hall there’s this smaller room where Quest Crew was doing their meet and greet.
We see people lining up so we join. But then, there were random people going in. It seemed like there was no system to get people in so we just went into the room. I guess Ryan was behind us. My sister notices.
“Hey why don’t you take a picture with Ryan now? He’s ur favorite.” says sis.
I look and he’s there just finishing up a picture with these other girls by the door. So I just walk up to him and I’m like “Hey Ryan is it ok if I take a picture with you?” (‘is it ok…’ haha)
He’s like ( with a smile) “Of course.”
My sister’s like “We’ve been a fan since ‘So You Think You Can Dance’.”
I chime in “Yeah since Sickstep!”
He just laughs a bit out of shock. I guess it was a pleasant surprise.
” Oh Wow!….That’s a long time!”
me- “Yup”
“What’s that like …..5 years?….”
Right there Ryan, sis and I pose for the picture.
Yay!
Sis – “You guys kill the stage every time.”
Ryan – ” You think so? Thank you.”
Me- Thank YOU.
I believe I said something to the effect of ” I haven’t had a chance to see you guys since then…and now I’m here.. haha.” (perhaps I didn’t say it …just thought it….yeah I probably just thought it.haha)
He then makes his way to Steve, Victor, and Aris who are taking a picture with a couple of fans.
It was pretty crowded in there so we waited until it cleared a little. We went up to them to take a picture.
I said “Hi!”
They smiled and said (in unison) “HI!”
“I’d like to take a group picture.”
“Sure!”
My best friend Ashley told me “I’ll take the picture. I just wanted to see them perform.”
Me and the sis get in.
I’m all talking to Steve and Ryan…”should I go here or here…”
Ryan laughs a bit and makes room between he and Steve “aw get over here.”
The crew chuckles a bit.
And then…SNAP! Picture done.
:-)
Satisfied and unwilling to hold up the crowd waiting for the rest of the crew, we said Thank You and left.
They were so nice. I’ve heard fans say that all the time but Really….they’re really nice.
While we are approaching the exit at the first bar downstairs, My sister stops and says ” We should take a picture together. Let me see if these guys will take it for us.”
My sister walks up to the bar and asks the two guys. The one guy’s like ” Oh wow u are beautiful..u are all beautiful…” something like that. haha
We start talking. Turns out the two guys are comedians. Bobby and Nick. They’re funny so we ended up staying for two hours talking and bugging out. We met these other two guys, Eddie and another comedian, I think his name is Matt.
Then we all decided to go back to the room and dance. We were doing funny battles. Matt was dancing on the couch with these asian girls and the girls were all like “OOH! OOH!” The other guy eddie, put the flashlight to them and strobe lighted them…haha.
haha…I was having so much fun I forgot to take pictures of that. Damn! That would’ve been a good one.
We intend to go to their shows so that will be cool.
That was my day…..and night. I had a blast!! Can’t wait to do something like that again.
Update: ALL DAY FUN! 8/28 PT.1 Rock the Bells
I had one of the best Saturdays ever!
So I thought I’d write about it.
Intro
So mid week I find out that I am adding a 3rd event to my Saturday in NYC. I was originally going to my friend’s event and I was (FINALLY) going to meet Quest Crew and watch them perform. Now I was adding Rock the Bells concert to the list. Craziness. Why? Well because instead of being in New York from about 7pm to about 4am, I would now start at about noon. Noon to 4 am …non stop. Not to mention I’ll be getting up earlier than that to get ready.
Rock the Bells is an outdoor hip hop concert. It’s pretty much like a Warped Tour or something like that where there are port o potties, tents, grass, and of course possibly grime. There was no way the outfit I had planned would survive such an outing. What to do?
Well we had a game plan. We would definitely have to change in the car. Yup. So we obviously brought towels, wipes, whatever we thought was needed to be all fresh again.
On our way
So I got up at about 9 30 am. I got ready and ate breakfast while I waited for my sister to get to my house. We ended up driving off at around 11am. The drive was surprisingly smooth. There was barely any traffic.
The concert was at Governor’s Island so everyone from the concert was told to take a particular ferry. We get to the Piers and start driving around looking for a parking garage. Luckily we managed to find free parking on the street which is practically impossible in the area. So we’re like “Yes! saved money for a whole day of parking”. We walk over to the ferries and we were confused as to where to go. There were apparently multiple lines for concert goers depending on whether you were general or “VIP”…yeah…they paid one hundred dollars more than general and they ended up being right there on the grass with us. haha. That sucks. The VIP’s that paid over 400 dollars were practically right on stage watching the show.
We went over to a staff guy and we were like ” Excuse me, which line is for Rock the Bells?” And he’s all like ” It’s over there”. So we get on line and my sister and I are talking as we inch closer and closer to the Ferry. At one point I remember looking at the Ferry and thinking “oh that’s cool. It looks like a Taxi.” Then I look at the marquee on the ferry and I’m thinking “Well That’s weird. Are we going to Ih Kee Uh Brooklyn? I guess that’s Governor’s Island? but I don’t know. I don’t think so.” Then as my sister is commenting about something I noticed the people on the line. They were pretty much all white, dressed in like fatigue green, brown colors with jeans and sandals. They were looking like…those people uptown I guess. In my head I’m like ” Hmmm….I didn’t think so many of them liked Hip hop…this can’t be right.”
I look to the next line on my right and I see girls with leopard shorts on and I’m like ” That’s where we belong”.
“Sister,” I said “I think we’re on the wrong line…look at the people in line..and look at the people in the other line.”
“oh yeah…wow.” She goes to ask the staff dude handling the line we’re on. “Excuse me, Is this line for Rock the Bells?”
He’s like “No. This is for Ikea in Brooklyn.”
So we leave and go on the other line.
We both said to the other “Oh no wonder they looked like that haha”
My sister said to me “Whew! Thank God you noticed. We would’ve been going to Ikea.”
Rock the Bells
We get to the place and immediately get a bottle of water. Thankfully the weather was great with no humidity whatsoever, which meant my straightened hair would not frizz. I was worried about that. We go straight to the main stage and we managed to get into the middle right section of the crowd so we were pretty close from the beginning. It was about 1pm at this point. Lauryn Hill’s set ( the main reason we went) wouldn’t start til about 5 30pm.
The sun was bearable but still beaming on us. The one thing that was bothering all of us were the speakers. That audio was so freakin loud, the bass was so strong that I thought I was going to die if I stayed in the area for too long. You could probably die from that. I’m assuming this only because I saw a cricket die like that. It was in our speakers….but I digress.
You could literally feel the waves violently pounding inside you’re body, chest, and throat. I literally gagged and coughed at a couple of points. At one point, everyone on our side was trying to get the staff’s attention by yelling…”Turn the audio down…The AUDIO!”…but nope..nothing.
The concert was cool. The average age of people there was probably around the 30′s. MTV was filming the whole thing. I don’t know if they were airing that live or not but whatever. In the middle of the stage there was a big screen. That’s about it. So I don’t really know why they took so long in between sets to prepare for the next one…but uh..ok.
The first set we saw was from Slick Rick. He, with his eye patch and infinite amount of heavy bling’d out chains (more than I’ve ever seen him wear) did his usual songs and there were random scenes being shown on that screen. I was just wondering why. It was still fun though.
After that ended, we all waited, ….and kept waiting… and we were like “ok, let’s keep it moving” You could sense the frustration in the audience. Then, we hear a sound come from the speakers so we look at the stage and on the big screen….is a commercial. …For the movie “DEVIL”. Really? Then there was one of Vibe’s 15th anniversary issue (which I’m not getting btw), then of some other event…etc. I mean it was endless. It’s like one girl said “We already gave you money…damn!” This would happen between every set for about 20 minutes.You don’t realize how hot and uncomfortable it is being there until you are no longer entertained.
Finally, Rakim takes the stage ( it was good), then KRS – One performed and it was cool.
The freestyles were crazy. He was talking about the real meaning of hip hop. It was cool that he incorporated that into the set but at one point this dude in the audience was just talking too much out of nowhere. He was very hyper and I guess he thought he could talk to the people on stage. You know, because KRS -One would stop his set to hear what he’s saying. hmmm…
It was annoying but everyone has a purpose and eventually we all saw what loud mouths are good for. As it came closer to Lauryn Hill’s set, we were already in the front right on the barrier and it was becoming more and more unbearable. That’s when the guy showed what he’s good for. “Hey everybody!!! You got to back up! BACK UP!! THERE’S NO ROOM ANYMORE. PEOPLE ARE ABOUT TO PASS OUT. BACK UP. BACK UP.” It worked and people actually stopped moving forward giving us just enough air to breathe.
Lauryn Hill goes on and it was good to see her. She’s getting closer to looking like the Lauryn Hill we all know and love so that’s good. She decided that for her set, she would remix all of the songs we love. The first couple were pretty good but it was hard to recognize what song it was. I mean, she would sing the lyrics too fast so you couldn’t understand her, the drums were going too hard when they shouldn’t be. Talk about over remixed. It was a bit disappointing because it started to get annoying. She was yelling and speed talking more than singing and it was repetitive. The really nice part was when she brought out her kids during “Zion”. That was sweet. After that was over we left the crowd to get something to eat. We were exhausted.My ears were hurting by then because I was in front of the speakers the whole time.
She brought her kids on stage including her little daughter.
We were sitting on the grass eating our hot dog (which btw, 2 hot dogs and 2 sodas = $18 bucks. What the?) when this girl comes up to us and asks “Are you guys Lauryn Hill fans?”
“Yeah”
“Wasn’t that a disappointing performance?”
“YES!!”
from there we got to talking and she was a nice girl. We met her friends and we hung out with her during A Tribe Called Quest’s set was on. Then, we had to leave in order to make it to Quest Crew’s performance.
“Act Natural”
So we leave, take the ferry, and go back to the car. Thankfully it was a quiet street so we took the things out of our trunk and changed in the car. It’s pretty simple to get dressed that way. The only thing that’s difficult is pulling up the pants.
“OMG! How am I going to do this?” asked my sister. “This car is too little for this.”
As we were struggling with the pants, cars were passing by, and a few people were too. My sister’s like “Stop. Act natural, like we’re just talking in the car.” So we’d do that every time we saw someone walking by…haha.
I’ll be back….
Please excuse the slacking….
I’ve got an 8yr old computer. Nuff said right? haha. I am very grateful it works though.
Saving up for a new one.
It’s a little harder to take the time to find content or to type so much when ur on a computer that can be very slow at times.
So…..
Lately I’ve been posting random stuff on my OTHER BLOG. It’s easier for now…Cause I’ve been busy.
More on that soon. bye.
update:Finally! Something.
I haven’t updated in quite a while. I have finally made some money. I worked for a project for two days. It was paid work and it was pretty cool. I held a boom mic for about a couple of hours.
I’m just happy that after all this time I at least worked something. I feel like things are looking up.
However, that was only for those two days so I’m still on the search for something permanent. I have been trying to figure out how I want to do things and I feel I need to focus on getting a job that will hold me off for a while. So that’s my focus.
Bye
New Layout
I wanted an easier way for people to look through all my posts. I will be writing more often now. My computer is much faster now. hahaha.
Did I ever mention that my computer is like …8yrs old?
Yeah, it’s a trooper. It’s amazing. haha.
The weather’s better on my end so I’m happy.
You could also check out my other blog. It’s more random than this one.
I take my time and write more on here. The posts over there are just “tid-bits”
So in other words:
“Tid-bits” Go there.
“Stories, details” Stay here. lol
later.
To Who Cares
Hi.
Well I haven’t written in quite a while. I’d love to say that I’ve found a job but I still don’t have one. And at this point I am doing stuff but really I just figure what else is there to talk about?
My anxieties are the same and I’ve posted them already.
The one thing I’ve been doing a lot of is reading….about anything. I would post that on here but I usually post things when I have something to say about them but I haven’t been reading things that would really warrant a reaction.
Anyways, I will try to post what I read anyway and will hopefully post any new developments that may come up.
Til then, come by once a week. hahaha.
Have a Nice Day.
Alcohol:The easy way.
If you read my blog you’ll remember that crazy drinking/party story I posted about a month ago. I really meant it when I said I wouldn’t drink again and for the whole month of March I did not have a drink. The first week of April was another story. I didn’t mean to drink but it did give me new insight into everything so I don’t regret it. It only validated my decision to be sober.
I’ve tried drinking two times this past weekend. The first attempt was with my sister. We decided to go to this restaurant where you can bring your own bottle. So my sister bought a small bottle of Riesling with her. After a month of not having a drink I figured it would be alright to have a glass or two of wine, nice and calmly while eating my mango shrimp roll. My body would tell me whether or not it recuperated, I reasoned. I ended up having two glasses and all was fine. Then all of a sudden, I get this crazy headache that lasted all day and into the next morning. This has never happened to me before especially after white wine. I’ve drunk three, four glasses of the same stuff with no problem. Now, after that party, I can’t even drink two without having a major migraine headache? My body was definitely telling me it was so over it.
As I plopped to bed that night feeling like I drank ten shots, I decided I was not going to drink ever again. My second attempt two days later confirmed my decision. I went out with some friends at a local spot.
SECOND ATTEMPT
I find it so weird how people almost get angry at you for saying “No thanks, I’m not drinking.” I got at least two screw faces that night about my contentment with a large glass of soda. I was offered about three shots and two drinks after I had said “I don’t think I’m ever drinking again”, and countless inquiry to my decision to be sober.
I never realized how hard it is to be sober and how ingrained drinking is in society until I decided to stop completely. It was only one night but it was still kind of annoying. At the last hour, I gave in not because I cared about what people thought, but because I wanted everyone to shut up already. I get a cup of Malibu and pineapple because I know that drink is not very strong at all and I took very small sips. Having once been a fan of the drink I now couldn’t stand the taste. I was barely taking a sip at all when I’m urged to take at least one celebratory shot, a small shot of Petron. I reluctantly take the shot knowing that my body will not be happy. The moment I put it to my lips, I wanted to gag but I go ahead and take it anyway. Within seconds I get nauseous and luckily one of my friends sneaks the malibu and pineapple out of my hand, replacing it with water. He says “I could tell you needed this more than anything right now.”
MY THOUGHTS
I couldn’t get over the hilarity of everyone’s reaction to my non drinking status. It was like I told them to go to hell or something. I kept thinking “Why do people get like that?” It’s not like I’m telling them not to drink or preaching to them about the harmful effects of it. And then I thought “Or am I?” It’s interesting how something as simple as seeing one of your friends have a glass of soda compels one to analyze their own decisions.
Perhaps my sobriety in a way forces them to think about why they drink in the first place. Maybe they don’t want to think about that. Maybe my sobriety forces them to ask “Well why do I HAVE to drink?” Perhaps my sobriety is further confirmation that they have some kind of dependency to alcohol and it must not feel good to realize that. I would be a bit bummed too if I realized that something had a certain control over me especially when that revelation occurs at a party where everything is supposed to be light, fun, and mindless. I don’t blame them for it but it’s still weird.
I believe asking yourself why you do or why you like certain things helps prevent susceptibility to people’s manipulations. If you want to be your own person and stay away from peer pressure, this is the way to do it.
So, why did I drink? I used to drink to get over my inhibitions a bit. I think that’s why everyone drinks. In my case, I’m shy but when I’d get tipsy I wouldn’t hesitate to strike a conversation, tell jokes and be the life of the party. It’s not that I couldn’t do it without alcohol but it would take much longer. My true personality would come out easily without any tension or fear of how people would react to what I had said.
But if that’s my true personality then why do I need alcohol to bring it out? Alcohol is the easy way, not the real way. You can’t say that’s your true personality if you need a substance to bring it out of you. If it’s true, then it just simply is. If it’s difficult to be your true self because you’re afraid of what people think, work on it by being you anyway. There lies the challenge, which I gladly accept.
My time in pictures: NYC
I managed to go to NYC a couple of times recently.
I had interviews.
I had to go on that crazy rainy day. After the interview I walked about 8 blocks to stop by the internship I worked in and say hello.
I avoid the umbrella at all costs but I gave in shortly after this.
This last time I managed to be there while my fave dance crew was on display in Times Square on a big screen. They won a contest along with some other artists so I was happy about that. A girl next to me was recording the Far East movement video. I wish my camera hadn’t died. I would’ve done the same thing. I took pictures w/ my camera phone though ha ha.
Ryan & Dtrix in the iggy video.
Hok
I was so glad I managed to see it in Times Square.
I got myself a tasty frappucino while I waited.. Yummy.
It’s always nice to take a long walk around NYC. I intend to be there more often as soon as I start working… Yes, I still have faith…lol
You Guys Are All DISGUSTING!
So hey …uh people…if ur reading. What’s up? It’s been a while but I’ve been a bit busy crossing my fingers and fighting the anxiety that comes with the waiting game. I may or may not have a future…lol I might get a job.You get it.
But I have a bit of an interesting story that I’m going to tell in my own special way. I don’t know. It all just happened. Thank God I’m around good people.
So I went to this friend’s house party on a weekend. I was told the atmosphere was less dancing more drinking. I go in. They’re playing beer pong. I get the one drink I plan to have for the night. I get the invite to play. Sensing the hesitancy, I was told that if I don’t like beer I could put whatever I want. My other friend and I decided to play at least one game and I had the bright idea of putting baccardi in the cups. We lost so we chatted the rest of the night. At some point the whole party gets together to play flip cup boys vs. girls….and all was fine. And then…
I woke up…..In the coat closet.
I awake to the sounds of the most violent heaving and hurling I have ever heard in my life. I thought the man was dying. “HUUUUUUUUGHH! UUUUUGGH!” Meanwhile I am wondering “Why am I sleeping on the floor?” “Why am I wet?” and then I realize I have a pillow on my head and a blanket thrown on me. I see there’s a trash bag nearby. “Oh” I now understood what had happened.
Being that I was among friends and not ready to deal with whatever was going on, I decided to get comfortable and fall asleep again.
Then perhaps only a few hours later I wake up on my own and it was completely silent. I decided to get up.
As soon as I walked towards the living room I noticed it was trashed. People were sleeping on the floor and my two friends I came with were asleep on the futon.
I decided to go to the bathroom. Not that I really had to but I was lucky I had brought some pajamas. I wanted to change into them being that I must have been laying in my own puke for a while. The door was half closed so I open the door to find that someone must have thrown up all over the floor. It looked like there was poo too. It was just disgusting. Someone tried to half ass clean it with some towels so I just saw a lot of smears. “Well! never mind the bathroom” I thought.
And as I’m about to leave, I get a glimpse of what looked like someone laying in the bathtub. I go to check and there’s a guy laying sleeping in the bathtub, no pants, no briefs, just a shirt.
I go to walk back to the living room and I see the view of the apartment. Wow, I didn’t realize the whole wall was a window so the view looked really nice at around sunrise. I checked my phone and it was about 650am. I took a picture.
Then I had to turn around and take this one.
What the...? This is ridiculous. Excuse me for looking a Hot mess.
I hear ” are you okay enough to sleep on the futon?” I turn around. It’s my friend. She had just woken up.
“What happened in the bathroom?” I ask.
She whispers “Oh my god, let me tell you. Ok so I decided to go to the bathroom. When I went to open the door I see the guy face down, ass up, pants down around his ankles PASSED OUT. I mean I was face to face with his crack. hahaha”
We both laugh. She continues.
“Apparently he must have been taking a shit, passed out in the middle of it, rolled… off the toilet, and continued to shit on the floor. LOL!!!!”
We both could hardly laugh softly.
” I decided to try to wake him up.” She says “I felt bad kinda leaving him there like that so I wake him up enough for him to get into the bathtub. I kind of gave him a little sponge bath. Cleaned him up. He was butt naked at this point. haha I saw his pecker and everything. Then I found him a shirt and put it on him and he slept there.”
I can’t stop laughing.
I asked. “What happened to me?”
She goes “I don’t know. You must have thrown up on the floor. I must have knocked out on the futon or something before that happened.”
So with that lovely little story we both decide to fall asleep.
We slept for about two hours but in the middle of it, I hear the guy weeping and talking on the phone. Crazy.
When we all finally woke up, we started talking about it. The owner of the apartment smirks at us and says “You guys are all disgusting!”
He turns to me, “And YOU! you were the first to go. You threw up in my closet. We tried to clean it up but you just wouldn’t stop blowing chunks it looked like you ate fajitas. then you decided to get comfortable on my floor and I got you a pillow and blanket. We kept trying not to step on you.”
And as everyone talks about their stories, I notice that I don’t feel so well. I turn to my friend, “Girl, I need a trash bag right by me and can you turn that fan on please?” She gets them.
At some point during the conversation everyone notices I don’t feel well. “Isabell are you ok?” and right there my body gets rid of the rest of the rum.
It was a miserable experience. Funny but miserable.
So we decide to get something to eat and clean later. It took forever to find my shoe. Everyone was in on the effort. We found it. we left.
We go to McDonald’s still feeling nauseous. I get the McNugget meal. Although we went as a group my friend notices that we all had split up once we sat to eat.
“Yo, look at us man,” he says “We all came here as a group and now we’re all split up, eating by ourselves at McDonald’s trying to come to terms with what happened. hahaha!”
Then this bum with a trench coat comes up to us and is all like ” I served in the war, I was an Iraqi war veteran and now I’m homeless. If you could spare some change I’d appreciate it.” One of our friends in the group who obviously doesn’t know the uh..protocol to ignore him goes “Well if you served in the war why don’t you use your G.I. Bill to go get help?” something like that. Well bum starts grabbing onto something in his trench coat seeming kind of angry, goes up to the guy. “You see I was also in the CIA” and right when it seems like he was gonna bust out whatever it was McDonald’s girl distracts him and eventually kicks him out.
I’m am still miserable and at this point I’m wimpering a bit.
“I’m shaking.” I said
“That’s normal” they said
“I feel like I’m dying.”
“That’s normal” they said
My guy friend goes “If you were going to die you would’ve by now so don’t worry.”
“I would have wouldn’t I? oh ok. I never had a hangover this bad.”
“Really?”
“No. I’ve always been fine the next day.”
After that we went back, I cleaned my mess and left.
No. I wasn’t dreaming. ..Unfortunately..it was crazy lol
I will never look at rum the same way again. As far as I’m concerned I’m not drinking anymore.
Don’t drink. Just Don’t drink. I’m not a “drinker” and look.
Don’t Ever. lol NO. Seriously.
I can’t describe much more but…
For those who were in on it.
Here’s the story in quotations in random order:
/’s separate the scenes. @ separate the people.
“Why am I sleeping on the floor?”/ “EVERYONE LOOK FOR ISABELL’S SHOE!”/ “I open the door, face down, ass up, pants down around his ankles, passed out….” / “hahahaha!”/ “oh that’s bullshit! you’re gonna drink again.”/ “you guys are a bunch of pussies”/”Does anyone remember everything that happened last night?”/ “Shit everywhere!”/ “Asshole!”/ “You are too nice!”/ ” I kind of gave him a little sponge bath. Cleaned him up.He was butt naked at this point.”/ And YOU! you were the first to go! You threw up in my closet.”/ “You guys are disgusting!”/ “ugh! the smell’s starting to get me sick again!”/ “…he must have fell off the toilet…”/ “..then you got comfortable on the floor.”/ “At least he didn’t shit on the walls.” @ “Actually there was ….shit on the walls.”/ ” Did everyone wake up to his grunts? @ “YES!” @ “I swore he was DYING! I was like oh my God! someone’s about to die.”/ “I can smell the rum! Ugh!”/ “At least you two were responsible enough to puke in the toilet.”/”Do you even want this cup anymore?”/”This was a miserable, miserable experience. It feels like freshman year.”/ “Ok everybody let’s just get ourselves together, go to an IHOP and clean this later. I think we could ALL use the fresh air.”/ ” Oh man. Oh man! We gotta get the fuck out of here. Now!”/ “Fuck my shoe!”/”… Poo in crack.. “/ ” Yo, look at us man, we all came here as a group and now we’re all split up, eating by ourselves at McDonald’s trying to come to terms with what happened. hahaha!”/ ” I was hoping this was a dream. hahaha! It’s not. (long silence)”/ ” Excuse me everybody! could you help me out? I served in the war, was an Iraqi War Veteran and now I’m homeless. If you could spare 50 cents or a dollar I’d greatly appreciate it. ” @ “If you served in the war why don’t you use your G.I. Bill?” @ “Shhh…Don’t”@ “(hands reach in trench coat) You see I was also in the C.I.A.” @ “Oh shit.”/ “If you guys help clean up, I won’t hate you guys.”/ “What are you a monkey? It’s like a monkey came in and was splatting shit everywhere!” @ “I hate you.” @ “OBVIOUSLY!! Obviously you fucking hate me ….with what you did.”/” I hate gagging myself but I have to do it. I can’t take it anymore.”/ “eww! she didn’t even wash her hands. And she about to touch some buns!”/”What’s this on my coat? Oh my God! NO! how did this get here?! LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU SEE THIS?!”/(SOBBING)/ ” Just eat little by little, don’t eat too fast.”/”YOU are not leaving til I can eat off the bathroom floor.”/ “I’m shaking.” @ “That’s normal.” @ “I feel like I’m dying.”@ “That’s normal.” @”If you were going to die you would’ve by now so don’t worry.” @ “I would have wouldn’t I.” @ “Yeah” @ “ok…. I never had a hangover this bad.” @ “Really?”/ “Yes run! Go run!”/ “Thanks for taking care of me.”/
hah-….
…
Never Again…. Ever.
Y U Slow?: What’s Coming Soon.
OK I feel like I need to update people on why the hell I haven’t written about things like the Grammys or The State of the Union Address. The Biggest Reason: My Computer is slow as hell. I might as well be on 56k…seriously. And since a job is more important…..you get it.
COMING SOON…
Though overdue, I will still be posting something up about the Grammys. I am in the process of condensing the State of the Union address and getting background info on the legislation that was mentioned. Kind of Like a Cliff’s Notes….uh…Izzy’s Notes 4 Politics.
And since it’s we are approaching Valentines Day and it’s Black History Month…I am going to talk about love and in some ways explore my own ethnicity. So yeah. Slowly but surely. Perhaps checking me out on Thursdays or Weekends are best this month.
Just thought I’d give you a heads up.
Bye.
We are approaching the 90′s (revised)
* I’ve decided that I want to tweak just a few things in this post after checking out some music. Cross outs or bold within a sentence indicate changes. So here’s the new version.
Since we just finished the first two weeks of the new year/decade do you wonder what the culture is going to be like? We had a pretty crazy schizo decade that loved extravagance and drama in entertainment. The 80′s were beloved in the first decade of the century and rarely was anything ever deemed too much.
History repeats itself therefore I predict the fashion and music sensibilities that ruled the last decade are about to end with this new one we are entering.
In other words, the 90′s are going to be back.
The 90′s for me seemed to be the decade of going “back to the basics” but I don’t think this is going to be completely the case with the ’010 decade since the 21st century has so far proven to be what I will call the Hybrid era or Postmodern era. Everything was mixed up and people put a new twist on the things of the past for better or worse. Youtube video commentary on events at times tend to be a great example like the merging of Kanye West VMA stunt/Obama’s healthcare address.
So here’s what I predict for the coming decade in entertainment.
2010-back to basics (sort of )
In music right now, things seem to be light and heavily dance oriented where lots of synthesizers dominate the mainstream, much like the late eighties.
If we take a look at the music shift during the 90′s , the synths either started to get darker, or if we look the other way, there were barely any synths at all. Bands like Nine Inch Nails, and R.E.M. came up to the mainstream during this time as well as Nirvana, and Pearl Jam. I think that switch will happen again eventually settling in mainstream in about a year or two so I can’t help but wonder….
Will there be a 21st century grunge movement?
I think Indie could be seen as 21st century grunge. This century mixes everything so I really don’t think the synths are going anywhere, just used less. Indie seems to be a movement but it is really light compared to grunge but although It reminds me of the whole “wear -whatever -be -yourself type of attitude grunge had.” To compensate for this softness, like the Nineties however, it will co-exist with Goth/Metal which may be the closest thing we’ll have to the grunge vibe and gritty sound.
Now of course I use this phrase very lightly. It’s not the Goth music people necessarily think about. This is the Millenium we are talking about so it may not be Goth music per Se, eh just more like Metal. Whatever kind of rock rises up, it will have some kind of dark, perhaps industrial, sound or influences with Goth sensibility thrown in, a darker more “real” version of what we hear now. Like a darker electro for instance that may harshly point out how vulnerable we really are as humans.
I think if this does happen it will have a longer mainstream lifespan than grunge did in the nineties because indie and “goth-ish” music lends itself to any instrument acoustic or electrical. The genres can also get away with creating dance music for the clubs.
R&B was also big during the ’90s with people like Sade, Brian McKnight, Mary J. Blige,Jon B and the Brand New Heavies so I wouldn’t be surprised to hear some sort of R&B influence in this music as well. I can definitely imagine that happening and it actually sounds better than one would think.
Since it’s said that Fashion and music go hand in hand, there’s a few indicators that this may really happen.
Fashion has already gone dark this year. There’s almost nothing but black in the fashion shows of some of the most famous designers. Also, Dsquared has went the way of grunge with models in flannel shirts walking down the runway, Starbucks in hand.
Dsquared
Alexander McQueen
In music there are also some bands that resemble other ones in the past. Those videos I will put in another post.
Here’s one for now.
Ra Ra Riot ( am I the only one who kind of gets an R.E.M. like vibe w/this song?)
Update: My Holidays ’09
Well it’s been a while since I’ve written. I don’t know how that happened. I would be on here almost everyday typing something. Now I start and then it’s like “Ah, I’ll finish it later.” Well anyways, here’s a quick update on how my holidays were.
Christmas was nice and relaxing. I spent it with my family.I received some nice gifts.
I got this bright pink and black v-neck sweater, a blue pink and black one(it’s like leopard print), black legging jeans, this nice shirt from Nollie. All of it was from Pacsun which is starting to replace H&M as my favorite store.
I got some nice body wash/bubble bath stuff. And the bestie got me this Johnny Depp Cry baby T shirt and a Hot Topic Card. Woohoo!
Yeah so that was pretty cool.
New Years I spent with my best friend. We didn’t do anything crazy really. I just accompanied her to a family friend’s house. They just bought it, it’s pretty spacious and nice, and they felt like having some people over.
I slept over my Bestie’s and we reminisced and had a great time til about 530am. Next morning her aunt was so sweet and made us some pancakes. Yum!
I have other things to talk about but I’ll be putting them on another post. So until then.
